


The Wrong Ass

by breyfree, panboi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Accidental Ass Slapping, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breyfree/pseuds/breyfree, https://archiveofourown.org/users/panboi/pseuds/panboi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean mistakes someone for a friend and ends up slapping a stranger's ass in greeting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wrong Ass

**Author's Note:**

> Since our stories aren't get much attention on [tumblr](http://levijean-s.tumblr.com/post/133646458417/the-wrong-ass-levi-x-jean), I've decided to repost them on here.

 

> **Prompt:**   _“I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting.”_
> 
> **Written By:** Em and Brey

Jean wiped his eyes groggily as he clumsily walked down the sidewalk.

_I should not have taken the late shift at work, fuck._

The snow didn’t help his bad mood. He didn’t hate the snow, but the jackets that he had to wear were so bulky. As his train of thought continued to wonder he noticed a small figure a little ways ahead of him.

_Is that Armin?_

He wondered to himself, beginning to jog towards his friend. He was wearing a dark hooded jacket with the hood pulled over his head.

“Hey!” He yelled at the person, but they didn’t turn around or even stop.

Jean frowned to himself then smiled slyly. He chuckled and sprinted to the boy at full speed. He brought his hand down and aligned it with the other boy’s butt. When he was within a few steps of the guy he brought his hand forward and shouted _“Gotcha!”_ as his hand collided with the unsuspecting boy’s ass. The boy stopped mid-step and looked up at Jean.

“Oh, dear god.” Jean breathed when he quickly noted the boy’s raven black hair. Jean’s eyes widened as he tried to figure out a way to get himself out of this mess.

The cold left his whole body shivering and his cheeks a flushed, pale pink. The jacket he was wearing was made to insulate his body heat and keep him warm but it wasn’t enough. Rubbing his gloved hands, he breathed through them to ward off the tingly sensation the cold brought on.

“Fucking hell, Farlan, at least give me a damn ride home,” Levi muttered as he hurriedly walked down the icy sidewalk.

He was too intent on getting home that he didn’t hear someone yell out, _“Hey!”_

Some people have a sixth sense where they could feel someone looking or stalking towards them, and usually these people are strong and deadly. However, because of the night’s snow Levi’s senses were dulled so he wasn’t aware of the figure creeping up behind him with their hand poised and ready to strike.

He grumbled, _“Damnit, Farlan, keep your cats locked up when it’s sno-”_

A sharp sting of pain radiated on his ass and Levi froze, glaring behind him into the deep, brown eyes of a guy. His muscles tensed to strike but he willed down the instinct. It was too fucking cold to beat someone’s ass tonight.

 _“Oh my god, I’m so fucking sorry.”_ Jean apologized quickly. “I thought you were my friend, Armin, I’m so sorry.” Jean was blushing an impossibly dark shade of pink that couldn’t be disguised as the cold stealing his body heat. Jean fought the urge to just make a break for it; he kept his feet planted, not daring to look at the person he had just assaulted.

Jean wanted desperately to just crawl in a hole and bury himself in the cold snow. 

The glare the other boy was giving him didn’t help the terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I-I’m so sorry-my name’s Jean.” Jean stuttered, sticking his hand out to the boy. He didn’t know what else to do, this hadn’t ever happened before. And hopefully it wouldn’t happen again.

Jean concentrated on the snow and the cold that surrounded him. He couldn’t look the other boy in the eyes. God, he felt so stupid, he really missed his bed. If only he could just go to sleep right then and there and pretend this never happened.

His head stayed down, his hand shaking slightly as it stayed extended in front of him. He didn’t say anything else, he just waited for the boy to grab his hand and hopefully forgive him. Then they could go their separate ways and never see each other again.

“I’m not shaking your hand after you just slapped my ass with it, _Jean_ ,“ Levi’s gloved hands stayed snug in his jacket’s pockets. He noted the ruddy color on the taller boy’s cheeks, and how awkwardly his brown eyes flitted around. A whisper of a smile tugged on Levi’s expressionless face.

"Handshakes are used for greeting or to congratulate someone for their accomplishments, no?” His silver eyes leisurely looked over Jean in the weak light the streetlamp threw down on them. The boy had a cute face intensified even more by his rosy-red cheeks. “Though slapping my ass isn’t something I’d congratulate you for but getting yourself arrested for sexual assault…”

Levi let his words sink in, a laugh trying to escape through his lips as he saw the utter panic and regret in Jean’s eyes.

The boy looked like he was gonna faint at the prospect of getting a misdemeanor. His face had paled and his eyes were wide in terror. Levi couldn’t hold it back. He guffawed, his sides shaking in his mirth. His face pinkened, and soon he leaned against the streetlamp trying to gain the breath he had lost from laughing so hard.

After a few moments, Levi let out a sigh and then a chuckle.

“Don’t worry I won’t report you to the police,” Levi wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. Sometimes he didn’t like to laugh so hard even if it felt good. Crying was something he tried to avoid doing at all costs; even if it was from happy laughter.

“I’ll let it slide if you buy me some hot drinks at this coffee shop next to my apartment,” An icy wind passed through and Levi visibly shuddered. “Let’s go before I freeze my ass off and then there won’t be anything left for you to try and slap again.” Levi grinned and waved his hand as if warding off the thought of Jean smacking his butt once more. “Just kidding, I know you won’t do that, _right_?” The grin on his face slipped into a malicious frown, and his silver eyes glared like daggers.

“ _Ah!_ Before we go, I’m Levi Ackerman.” Levi bowed his head slightly in greeting. His cheeks blushed when he realized the instinctive movement he made. “Sorry, the bowing thing is a habit my mother and grandmother drilled into me since I was a baby. They’re very old-fashioned, unfortunately.” He rolled his eyes, sighing.

Jean looked sideways at the bo- _Levi_. "Deal." Jean answered, making sure to keep his distance and his hands to himself as they walked to the coffee shop.

Jean looked around the shop and smelled the familiar sent of coffee beans. He recognized the shop as one he visited often, the man at the cash register acknowledged Jean with a nod.

"Your regular?" The barista asked with a wink. Jean nodded and pulled out his wallet waiting for Levi to make his order.

After the other boy was done, Jean paid and sat down at one of the wooden chairs that sat around his favorite table. The two-toned brunet sighed and tugged his collar closer to him as the warmth from the coffee shop enveloped him in its sleep-inducing arms. He became more and more relaxed as the coffee scent and warm light surrounded him.

He was getting even more sleepy as well. Jean prayed that the coffee would be ready before he fell asleep in his chair. He closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the quiet. Suddenly, Jean remembered Levi, the boy he assaulted like an idiot, and quickly sat up to apologize again, but it seemed that he too was distracted by the homey feel of the warm coffee shop.

Jean was just thankful that Levi didn't look as mad as he did before. He sighed softly and stretched out in his seat. Jean didn't even notice that the barista had come by with their coffee drinks until he felt a light disturbance on the other side of the table. Jean sat back up and slowly opened his groggy eyes to see Levi drinking from his cup.

Levi carefully sipped his drink. His taste in drinks and foods contrasted very much from his personality. Typically, people assume Levi despised sweet things because of his sometimes bitter attitude but he actually loved them.

Everything and anything sweet Levi liked, loved; same thing. He was drinking a hot chocolate-coffee drink with extra, _extra_ chocolate whip cream. The barista who made his drink had panicked when Levi hadn't said stop even after the whip cream began to pile up in the cup.

He noticed Jean doozing off in his seat, not aware of the his own drink cooling in front of him.

 _"It's none of my business if he falls asleep,"_ Levi thought, sipping his drink and glancing to the side.

Levi almost choked on his drink from laughter when he thought, _"I could steal his wallet right now and run off into the night!"_ He noticed Jean had finally opened his eyes then, and he surpressed the smirk he wore as he daintly sipped from his cup. _"Ah, but I told him I lived next door. Oh, well, I was just kidding."_

"I would never steal," Levi said out loud, gaining a confused look from Jean.

The two boys quietly sat in their seats, immersed in their soothing, warm drinks. Levi's cheeks had gained a healthy, pink color from the warmth of the shop and his drink. Shrugging off his jacket, he bit onto the finger of his glove and tugged it off in one fluid movement. Repeating it on his other hand.

Levi found his eyes leisurely moving towards Jean, studying him. He saw how his pink lips rounded to sip his drink, that quick flick of a tongue to catch a drop from rolling down his chin. Jean's brown hair was ruffled up in a way that made Levi want to entangle his fingers in. It looked soft like the fur of a maine coon cat. Levi inhaled deeply, and through the smell of coffee he could smell...strong _Old Spice deodorant_?

He groaned and sipped his drink, inhaling the sweet smell of chocolate to rid the smell of deodorant. Farlan, his best friend, used the same kind; he recognized the scent. The deodorant's name was as ridiculous as their commercials: _"Swagger_ Deodorant"

"You smell like a douche," Levi quietly murmured to himself. _"Since Farlan is a douche for not giving me a ride home, that fucker. I helped you find your cats among the snow, damnit..."_ Levi proceded to grumble, not realizing his voice was rising a bit.

Jean couldn't help but worry about Levi when he started mumbling to himself. _What have I gotten myself into?_ he wondered, starting to worry more for himself. _This guy is crazy!_

As the boy across from him began to get louder, Jean wondered if he should intervine. But the comment about him smelling like an asshole caused him to recieve a less-than-pleasant vibe from the other boy.

 _Maybe I should just make an excuse and leave._ Jean grasped for something to say, or at least for a decent excuse, but all that came out of his stupid mouth was, "So.... d'you have a girlfriend?"

Jean mentally slapped himself and blushed slightly. He tried to hide the pinkness of his cheeks but it was too late when Levi noticed with a slight questioning arch of his brow. _Why am I blushing?_ Jean wondered in aggravation. _It's as good a topic as any._ Jean leaned forward slightly for the boy's answer and waited patiently until he spoke.

Levi paused from his grumbling, dainty mouth pursed in saying a not-so-nice word about his best friend. It was a hard-to-die habit of Levi to complain about things out loud. He tried to keep his voice to a minimal but it usually rose as his anger festered.

Muttering about the things that pissed you off was better than beating the source of that annoyance into a grease stain though.

Levi took his time to answer when he had composed himself albeit feeling a little embarrassed that Jean might have heard his comment about the brunet's choice of deodorant. He noticed Jean lean forward a bit and he chose the moment to take a long drink from his cup.

He feinted telling his answer but accidentlly yawned instead. Rubbing the tears from the corner of his eyes that the yawn brought, Levi preceded to stretch his arms a little.

"Why do you ask?" The raven-haired boy smirked, noting Jean's pink cheeks. Levi wouldn't admit it but he liked how cute Jean was blushing.

" _I-I_ was just trying to start a conversation." Jean, flustered by Levi's question, stuttered slightly. He crossed his arms defensively. "And your snide comments about my smell didn't help." Jean leaned back against his seat and puffed out a slightly annoyed, but mostly embarrassed, breath.

Jean was starting to wonder why he didn't just leave. It wasn't like they were gonna see each other ever again after this. He was starting to think that was a good thing. He didn't understand why he wanted to stay seated though. It was like there was a strange connection that Jean refused to sever, at least not yet.

"Fuck." Jean whispered under his breath, he didn't like not understanding things, especially when they were directly tied to himself. He sat up straight again and looked at Levi intensely. _This boy..._ Jean sighed softly and smiled.

Right when Jean was about to say something else, his phone rang in his pocket. Jean ruffled his hair in annoyance and quickly dug out his cellphone. Connie's face lit up the screen.

"Ah, shit I'm sorry." Jean turned in his seat slightly and slid his finger across the screen to accept the call.

 _"What is it, Connie?"_ Jean asked, a hint of anger tinting his voice.

 _"Oh, brooooo,"_ Connie slurred. "I'm caught over here at th' barrr that we used ta go to and one of th' bouncers is tellin' me ta leave." Jean could hear angry voices in the background. Jean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Oh my god, Connie, what the hell is wrong with you?" Jean sighed. All he got was a childish giggle in responce. "Fuck it, tell them I'm on my way." Jean hung up the phone before Connie could give him any affirmation.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go." Jean shrugged. "Maybe we can see each other again." Jean ran out of the shop, waving to Levi all the way. Why was he looking forward to the possibility of their next meeting so much? Jean ran and held onto that energy.

He smiled as he hailed a cab and jumped in, even as he gave the cab driver the address of the club. But as soon as the club came into view Jean put on a face that could freeze entire armies. He stepped onto the sidewalk and stared down a delirious Connie being held up by two bouncers.

"Fuck you, Connie." He breathed as he slowly walked up to the arguing trio.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this and have a tumblr, reblogging the tumblr post of this is highly appreciated.  
> Kudos are always appreciated. <3


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